I have found myself in too many equality equity arguments of late... it feels like we have a virtual Areopagus like the real one in ancient Greece where we pass judgement and argue and examine.
I recently had a loud argument with someone... the very common argument about Men VS Women being equal. He held that women could not work as much or lead as well as men did because they think differently.
Our argument centered on brains - my claim was that our brains are very much the same in terms of capacity and function and that the only reason sometimes boys appear to do some things well was because of the environment we grow up in - which allows them to explore and challenge themselves and puts girls in controlled activity... this create paths in the brains which are different
Anyway as arguments often go... this one became silly with this person arguing that because women have estrogen it alters their brain function... at that point I let go of the argument.
A couple of weeks ago I had another argument with a friend. This time the argument was about having a law specifically allowing for transgenders to be as they wished to be. My friend argued that there was no way could ask the rest of society to make allowances in the law of the land for people who were confused. She ended the argument with "I rest my case."
If she had allowed a continuation I might have argued that "society" was indeed the confused party here. We as society have assumed we know all there is to know about a human being we can dictate to a tee "what is the right feelings for a man, what is the right attitude of a woman, what are the roles a man should have, how should a man appear and what should a woman wear" - we know... of course we know... but how do we know? What is our authority?
What is our academic backing for our knowledge? - We are the confused ones because we allow our cultures to dictate without questioning if what we conform and what we force others to be is really what they need to be.
LABELS
I then observed all the labels we had. Understandably so because as human beings we have survived extinction by being able to classify and label bad and good things.
Every time we label others as they are wrong or they are confused or they are inferior there is a subconscious label that says I am right, I am superior, I am upright, I am straight.
EUREKA
We are not bad people - we are just defending our positions. We have done everything we were supposed to do. We are men as men are supposed to be. We are women as women are supposed to be. We have lived by the book all our lives.
Who are these feminists, "equalitists", transgender activists to try and change things. If I don't lead and my wife follows our family will crumble.
Then if things change - who do I become? I have never decided for myself what to feel, what to be. I have lived my life with a "Guide to Life" - unprinted edition in my mind, taught in my school, enforced at home, at work.
There is an unspoken, unacknowledged fear in all of to start taking responsibility and choosing who to be, choosing how to be.
TIME TO BE - MAKE YOUR CHOICE
Well here is my magic bullet for inequality and inequity - it is time for us to be.
1. Define yourself as a human being - a beautiful creature
2. Acknowledge and accept what is natural/physical in you e.g. being male or female
3. See humanity as a unity (Dump the whole idea of "I am VS they are" - We are.
4. Put out your statement of what you want to be
5. Decide what you want to do, learn, experience and contribute to the world
E.g. I am a human being. I am female. I want to spend my life loving this man.
I will marry him, I will travel to Bali, Kilifi and Zanzibar. I will learn and teach Music to kids in my neighborhood. I want to be President of my country or a housewife (TBD - to be decided)
Armed with your statement
- It doesn't matter whether a man you know wants to spend his time having sex with other men.
- It doesn't matter that you nobody likes the food you cook except you and that hungry beggar.
- It doesn't matter that your BFF girlfriend wears boxers and clothes labeled "Men"
- It doesn't matter what people say you can or cannot do - you make the choice and you live for it and pursue it e.g. become President or the housewife.
- It doesn't matter whether we are in a recession
THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE
The world will be a better place not when we control everyone to be like everyone else
But when everyone frees themselves to be the best they can be to the unity of humanity
If we feel we have a place in this world
That there is something we bring to the world by being the best of us
Then we will only have words and gestures to make others be the best too that they can be.
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